we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
