best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
