By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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