I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You took a bar mat shot.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
