I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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