I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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