summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize