I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
