it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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