u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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