in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
