I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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