what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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