so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
