As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize