Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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