Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
