So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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