i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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