Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
