people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
