So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
