Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Come share oat with me in your robe
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize