He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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