and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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