there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
