At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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