I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
