Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
