Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
