Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
