what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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