I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
