i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
