i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
