this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
