Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
