Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
