I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
