My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
