Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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