I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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