Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
