so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
