why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
