I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize