Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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