talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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