It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize