i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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