Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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