my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
