he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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