good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
