Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
