Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
