I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
