Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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