officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
