I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
