I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
