We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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