He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
