My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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