What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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