U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My day in three words: secret purse cake
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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